9 Months

Finally! The rest of D's 9 month shoot at the beach. Jake is SERIOUSLY talented with the camera, and I had A LOT of pictures to choose from....hence, there are many here to look at! Now my editing skills are no where near Jake's or Gina's, but I'm working on it!

Oh yeah, and D had his 9 month Dr. Visit last month too. On Feb 24th, he weighed 19lbs 9.9oz, and was....28 inches tall? Oh, I don't remember. I do remember that he is still just a little over the 25th percentile in height and weight, but over 50th in head size! "It's like Sputnik! Spherical, yet pointy at some parts!" :) That was a month ago...who knows where he sits now. He's amazing, that's for sure!

Look Colton, it's MUNO!

This pose made more sense in my head!

Jake's awesome-ness....

My lame attempt at recreation....

Trying out the collages.....

I couldn't decide which one I liked better: color or b&w?

Blame Twilight

For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting my next blog, and have been very sad/depressed/felt alone by the absence of such blog, you should blame the Twilight series. You should also know that I am only partly serious.....you should also blame Facebook. :) Ok, really, I bring this up because I did just finish the series, which has been keeping me up till 1am all week. Please don't construe this to think that I am obsessed with Twilight and all that it encompasses.....I really only obsess over Harry Potter. Really. I digress......

This is all to say that I VERY MUCH intend to post again in the near future. I have SOOOOO many things to post about. I have a list. Please stay tuned, your patience will be greatly rewarded! :)

(By the way.....has anyone noticed a pattern here? I sure have: post a ton, wait a couple weeks, post a "I-will-post-again-soon-I-promise" blog, and so on....how annoying is that? Ugh, I don't want to be annoying. I'm going to change! HA! Like you haven't heard that before either!)

Declan's Day

I'm not one to buy holiday shirts. I think it's kinda silly to have a shirt that's generally only used for one day. Even more so for babies who grow so fast they grow out of the shirt as it is being put on them for the first time. I'll give you that a shirt that says "love" for V-day can be worn again, but if it says "Baby's first V-day!" that's pretty silly. Don't get me wrong, I think they are adorable, and if someone were to give me one, I probably wouldn't turn it away. But to buy one myself.....I don't think I could go through with that.

But today is different. I have never really cared all that much for St. Patrick's Day, or rather, not anymore than any other holiday. But now I have a son and his name is Declan. Declan is an Irish name. Now, all of a sudden, today has a much bigger significance. There is a minimal amount of Irish in both Trevor and me, so not that much in Dec......but his name is Irish. So now I love today. And I bought a shirt. With a clover on it. And Declan wore it. And he WILL wear it again if I have anything to say about it! :)

One more complaint

I think that it would be completely inconvenient to have a billion dollars. Even having a million or 100 thousand dollars would be horrible. I wish that I never have to deal with having more money than I know what to do with. That's it.


(In case you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about, let me explain: after blogging about Dec and the breastfeeding, it got better. After blogging about Dec and his pickiness, he started eating better. So I thought I would bemoan about being rich someday since my blog is apparently "Opposite Land" and then we actually would maybe become rich. Just thought I'd give it a try. I'll let you know if it works.)

Walking

Yeah, you read that right. Our little boy is walking! This video was taken 3 days ago, but he had taken his first step almost 2 weeks ago. It was just a couple steps at a time, and not getting him anywhere, but it was still exciting. I just didn't expect it to be this fast! The night we shot this, I was in the kitchen making dinner, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw D walking....like full-on walking, not just a-couple-steps-and-then-falling-over walking. Each day he's been getting better and better at it. Being around the older children at our small group last night inspired him all the more I think! In fact, I think having all his cousins and friends being older and walking has always been a huge influence on his desire to be up and moving himself. He just turned 10 months today, so technically Declan was walking at 9 months! What a genius child! :)

Just Kidding

A quick little update: Declan has been nursing again since Tuesday. All day Monday he would cry at a mere peek of the boob. After getting some wonderful advice from my good friend Gina, I had a new strategy to try to get Declan nurse. And it worked! Thanks Gina!! We've determined that it was a teething issue, though I still think my "scolding" him about the biting didn't help. It needed to be done, but it didn't make eating with a sore mouth any easier. He still gets his nibbles in, here and there, but a quick "No biting!" can usually do the trick. I still don't know if we will make it to a year, but at this point it seems we are not stopping now. I'm a little glad that I had to go through this though because I now I know how I'll feel when it actually does end, and I'll be prepared for that.....ish. :)

Happy 10 Months D!

I don't know if I ever posted this picture here. This was actually taken at 12 weeks.

Trilogy

My mom and Trevor have asked me to write more when I post. They may regret doing so. The following three blogs are a result of an emotional day. I have spent WAAAAAY too much time on them and have been up later than I EVER should be, but my heart wanted to get them out. Before I would forget all that I wanted to say.

And of course, the obligatory picture. I love it because it looks like Declan is the one holding the camera!

I Wasn't Expecting This

I have been nursing Declan for almost 10 months. At least seven of those 10 months, it has been exclusively breastfeeding. For a few months we had to supplement with formula while I dealt with some issues. Oh issues, remember those? 3, that's THREE, breast infections. (If your constitution is weak, I apologize....but then again, you should know by now.) Going back to work a mere 5 weeks after he was born, granted I only worked 3 days a week, but I was sometimes gone for up to 12 hours at a time, having to pump while at work, feeling like I was an inconvenience to my boss as I commandeered her office. This entire time I have felt like my boobs ruled my life. All for a good cause, I love my son and I am thrilled that I have been able to provide for him in this way. Honestly, I am shocked that I have made it this far. That it has become so routine and normal, it will be weird when it finally ends. Absolutely fantastic and freeing, but weird. Or at least that's what I thought.

Today, Declan did not want to breastfeed. Well, 2 out of the three times we tried, he did not want to. He would just lay there, nibble a bit-with his TEETH, I would say "No, NO! No Declan!" and he would look up at me, scrunch his face up and whine. Then he would start crying. Tears. Not just the "I don't like 'No'" cry. The "why is she yelling at me, does she hate me?" cry. Add that to the fact that we lost an hour of sleep and I start crying a little. I thought, maybe this morning was just a fluke, he actually did nurse a tiny bit, just ended with the biting/NO/tears trifecta. And then, when I nursed him at church this afternoon, all was mostly well, just a little nip here and there. But tonight, at dinner.....no good. At that point, I really started to feel it....this may be the beginning of the end.

Like I said, I'm surprised I got this far. In the beginning, I couldn't see how I could make it, how it would be anything other than frustrating, painful, time-consuming, and exhausting. But it did get better. It did feel normal. I was getting bold, and I would nurse in front of people other than my family and close friends (always covered......I'm not that au naturel). I felt comfortable using nursing rooms at the mall, not needing all of my at-home paraphernalia. I even nursed at a park once! Seriously, things I never thought I would ever do. Still though, I always thought, "I can't wait for this to be over, to wear normal bras again, to stop pumping!!" I loved doing it, but it was still a little inconvenient, and I thought I would gladly say goodbye when the time came.

My goal was to make it to a year, but I would be ok if I didn't. I've now made it to practically 10 months, it may be time to wean.....and I'm not ok. I don't want to be done yet. It's not an issue of formula, I know it won't hurt my child, and 2 months of buying it won't drain our savings (too much, it's still RIDICULOUSLY expensive.) It's not an issue of my maternity failing to provide for my child. It's the one thing I honestly didn't expect to feel. I will miss the bond.

With all that struggling, it was hard to see the bond that Declan and I were forming. And then it became so routine, the bond was still a little lost. But today as I was faced with the reality that it could be over, all I could/can think of is that bond going away. As I type this, I have tears streaming down my face. I know that Declan and I have many other aspects of our lives to bond over, but this one is so precious. Whenever I was having trouble, Trevor would remind me "Becky, do you realize that you, and only you, have kept Declan alive for *insert length of time*?!" (Well, about 98% me, formula and solids have paid their dues.) This made me feel so special, kinda heroic. But I won't get to do that anymore.

This is so dramatic! :) I knew it would come to an end someday.....unless I went La Leche League on you guys and breastfed until he was 8! Ewww! (I'm not judging.....ok, yes I am, 8 years old?!? Come on!) But really, I didn't intend to go past a year, I knew I would be weaning, and that it would be soon. I just didn't expect this to be my reaction to it. To be sad and to cry. Well, maybe a little sadness, but not this hole-in-my-heart sadness. Shoot there go the dramatics again!

And really, there were just 2 months left!! I was so close!! Dang! :) But I guess the silver lining is this: He now has top teeth and those teeth are *#&!*#@ sharp! (Sorry mom.....but really, they are.)

Anyway, this could all be for naught. It could have been a bad day, the time change could have messed him up, his mouth could have been hurting from the new teeth. We have tomorrow to see what really lies ahead. And perhaps the day after that, if I can withstand it. I will still pump as much as I can, the less formula we spend money on, the better. The boobs have yet to relinquish their rule.

Declan, thank you for making me a stronger mommy, sticking with me as we fought through the hard times, making me laugh with your silly grins in between gulps, and for the sweet cuddle time after every meal. I promise we can still cuddle, I will always laugh at your silly grins, and that there will be more hard times to fight through. I can't wait for the millions and millions of special bonds we will continue to make. I love you my sweet boy!

The one shot you'll get of me breastfeeding. It is beautiful though, right? He was just 8 days old.

ok people, put your tissues away and get back to work......or keep reading my blog. It's fun. It's what I would do. :)

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An Update: It is now Monday morning. He pretty much cried just looking at the boob. I think that's a bad sign. :)

A Lesson in Humility

Um.....have you guys noticed that I don't complain about my child that much, if at all? That I act as though he is literally perfect. Literally, not figuratively. Literally. I even once compared him to Baby Jesus, saying "This must be what Baby Jesus was like!" While I still firmly believe that my child is the best thing in the world, I have recently been quite humbled by him.


Here's the thing: Declan is picky. With his food. Like his mother. Damn her....


Or at least he is right now. I pray so hard to the dear Baby Jesus that this is just a phase and will go away, but while I'm smack in the middle of it, I could go crazy. When we started real solid food, not the cereal stuff, I decided to go with veggies first, so he would learn to like them, and not necessarily get a sweet tooth off fruit. After about a month of this, I introduced fruit. And then I did something that I think set me up for the pickiness: I made so much of the same food and fed it to him for about 2 weeks straight, he got so used to it, he didn't want to try anything else. He mostly won't like new veggies, but even avocado he didn't like.


What he does like:
V-sweet potatoes, sometimes carrots
F-apples, peaches, bananas, pears, plums



What he does NOT like:
V-peas, green beans, squash (yellow, green, butternut), cauliflower, cucumber
F-avocados
Meat-turkey


I have some AMAZING videos of Declan trying these foods, and the awesome faces he made. I've been requested to post them....soon Jamie. Soon.


So I am at my wits end. I have returned to feeding him is old faithful, but only because I feel like if I force him to eat what he doesn't like, it will only make it worse! But, am I giving him too much starch with all the potatoes? Am I forming a sweet tooth with all the fruits? Argh! This part of parenting is not my favorite!


Case in point: Here we have a scenario in which my patience ran out. I did not get mad and yell at Declan, I know that would certainly not have helped. Instead......we got in a food fight. Poor Declan though, it was kinda a one-sided fight. But I can't say he was too put-out by it. Take a look:

I started with just dropping the spoonfulls on the tray when he wouldn't eat them. I believe this was cauliflower that I had mixed with sweet potatoes, hoping to "trick" him into thinking they were good. Then I set the bowl and spoon down and let him have at it.

He then preceded to drag his arms, and thus, the sleeves of his PJ's, through the mess.

This one looks like he's thinking "doot doo doot doo doo....la la la la laaa....playing with the spoon..."

After throwing the bowl off the tray and looking to see where it had gone off to.

I then tried, unsuccessfully, to feed him a few more bites. When that didn't go well, I decided to drop some spoonfulls onto his face....and spread them all over. And into his hair.

It's still funny to see him discover stuff that sticks to his hands.

"I don't want this."


"You take it!"

"Hey....give it back!"

I think he figured out how silly he looked when he turned to me and said "Now what did you go and do all that for?"

I can't say that I'm too proud of my reaction on this one. But it did make for some fun pictures, and I don't think it was too harmful to him.....right?

Scout

It was December 9th, 2001. We had just left my parents house, driving somewhere I didn't know. Trevor handed me a wrapped present and told me to open it. Inside was a bag of Kitten food. And then I knew.....we were on our way to get a cat!

We had been married a little over 8 months. That meant that I had lived without a cat for a little over 8 months. My whole life I had had a cat, sometimes 9, sometimes 2, but always at least one. They weren't always my cat, but they were the family cat. The best cat ever was Cubby....but he deserves a blog all his own.....someday.

Anyway, the apartment Trevor and I had moved into after getting married didn't allow cats. At least that's what the landlord told us. Nevermind the fact that my brother who lived next door had two, and his neighbor had one. So Trevor, knowing how much I wanted a cat of my own, took it upon himself to plead with the landlord, tell him what good tenants we were, and how vigilant we would be with the cat. And remind him of the other 3 cats he was allowing in the same building. He did all this without telling me. So he could surprise me.

We found ourselves at the pound that day. Selfish as I was, I wanted a kitten. I tiny one. Really, really small! We passed many an adult cat (which I probably shed a tear for later) and found no kittens. Trevor has been by a couple days or so earlier and there were kittens then, but with the holidays coming, they had been wiped out. Duh. (This made the whole adult cat thing sadder) So we left. And I was bummed. SUPER bummed! Trevor said we could wait and see what they would get in the coming weeks, but I was having none of it. I found out I was getting a cat and I wanted one....THAT DAY!

We tried a few pet stores in the malls, and nothing. We called other shelters, and nothing. Trevor asked me about the adult cats, I checked my cold heart, and nothing. But I wouldn't give up hope. Back at my parents, I got out the phone book and started calling more shelters, pet stores, and rescues. Finally, after exhausting Orange County, I called a place in Norco. They had kittens! Trevor gave me a weary look and off we went!

When we got there, the place looked like a pet supply rather than a pet store. That's because it was a rescue. Oh how sweet. The cats and dogs they "rescued" were in the back. We walked back and saw 6 cages stacked two high, and a small corral for the puppies. Of course, Trevor went straight to the puppies....but that was REALLY out of the question. I looked at the cages, and surveyed the options. The far left held the youngest kittens, about 8 weeks old, and $80 a pop. Quite an increase from the $35 the shelter would have charged for a fixed and vaccinated cat. The middle cages held the 15 week olds, at $50. And then we had the old fogies...I mean adult cats, $30. Trevor, of course, leaned toward the older cats, while I, of course, wanted the little babies. We compromised with a 15 week old.

As I looked in the cage I noticed a few kitties, a black one, an orange one, and some others that I can't remember. Really the only thing I remember is what happened next. I knelt down and opened the cage. The black kitten was sitting right by the door and started to sniff at the open gate. I said to Trevor, "If this one crawls into my lap, he/she is the one." And that's when Scout entered our lives. She crept out, and practically curled up on my knees right there. Done. Sold.

The next couple weeks, we adjusted to life with a pet. Not a terrible adjustment, but a new responsibility. She was REALLY sweet, curled up with us every chance she got, wanted to be under the covers with us in bed, directly between us, even if it meant laying on us. Got into every box that laid on the ground........it was Christmas time and there were many gift boxes and decoration boxes to enjoy.

In the beginning, she had many sicknesses. The place we got her from turned out to not be so great in their rescuing. We pretty much saved her from the rescue! We nursed and she grew into a super rambunctious, crazy cat! Me and her used to chase and stalk eachother down the long hall of the apt. She would rear up on her back legs and run at me sideways. It was fantastic!

Then we moved to England. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do....leave my "baby" for a year. But we did it, and the day we got back we picked her up. She didn't really remember us at first, but after a few weeks, she got comfortable with us again.

After being gone a year, both Trevor and I missed her terribly. Unfortunately for Trevor, that did not last. The first couple years we were back were fine, we were in a smaller apt, and she was cramped, but we dealt with it. Then the hairballs started. And they kept coming. And then we found out we were having a baby, and the hairballs kept coming. Changing food didn't help. Brushing her more sort of did, but we weren't diligent. The vet didn't give much advice besides what we had already done, and she was "healthy". Then it died down a bit....good timing.

When Declan came it wasn't such a problem, but since our move, it's gotten a bit worse. And since the boy can crawl and will be walking soon, it has gotten harder to take care of. We've come home and in the dark stepped in it and tracked it through the house. Having a mobile child, that is not something you want to deal with. AND the carpet is brand new!

So the time has come. I have gone back and forth about this, and cried and cried about it. Some days I'm ready for it and others I am totally not. But this is the truth: Scout needs to go. My heart breaks even writing that sentence. I love her. I love her fuzziness. I love her purr. I love that she stills wants me to pet her when I go to bed, even though she hates me touching her any other time of the day. I LOVE that Declan is fascinated by her, and wants to chase her.

But I'm tired of cleaning up after her. I'm tired of the litter and her litter box. I'm tired of the black hair all over my stuff. And I'm tired of Trevor's much justified contempt for her. I know these things are attached to pet ownership, but I need to focus on parenting right now. I hate that this has to be a choice, but I care about my son, and I cannot spend time making it work for the cat to be here, when I should be caring for D.

So.....if anyone would like a black, long-haired cat with a white ascot (spot on her chest), a slight kink in her tail, that is friendly to a point, but only on her terms, and who's a little puky, let me know. She's been indoors her whole life, but she still has claws (oh yeah, there's that problem, too) so she could probably adjust to going outside some. I DO NOT want to take her to a shelter, and I really don't want to take her to a rescue. I would love to know the person who is taking her, so I could visit, but, at the same time......she will have to eventually go....somehow. :(

She is beautiful though....